What I learned on my summer vacation
02 Sep 2009 3 Comments
in Animals, Cinema, Food, Material, Nomadic Tags: bees, blood, Brad Pitt, Burger King, Bœuf bourguignon, Coca-cola, digital camera, disco, DMV, driving, family, grammar, hash browns, honey, labels, McDonald's, Meryl Streep, panorama, Quentin Tarantino, students, support, sushi, tissues, Whatchamacallit, youtube
The universe works in mysterious ways.
McDonald’s once again serves honey as a dipping sauce for nuggets.
Always, always carry tissues in your purse.
An abundance of Coca-cola and Whatchamacallits make driving for sixteen straight hours a possibility.
“Alright,” much to my chagrin, is actually a grammatically legal alternative to “all right.”
Family and friends are remarkably supportive when you least expect it.
Meryl Streep is one hell of an actress.
Although I can’t stand Brad Pitt as a person, he, too, is one hell of an actor.
Squeamishness comes with age.
Quentin Tarantino gets better with age.
My digital camera apparently has a panorama/photo stitch function.
There is no such thing as too much sushi.
There is such a thing as too much disco.
Spices and herbs in the kitchen should always be marked clearly.
Fifth graders are much less stressful than second graders, but preschoolers are much more fun to play with.
Bœuf bourguignon is not nearly as difficult to make as some people claim.
The department of motor vehicles does not always to remind you that the registration for your automobile is about to expire, so it is prudent to take note of the date by which it must be renewed.
Hash browns from Burger King leave a taste so foul in your mouth that even a piece of gum will only make it taste like minty death.
It’s OK to change your mind.
Bees do not like to be photographed.
This is the best YouTube video, ever:
Daunted
27 Jun 2009 6 Comments
in Material, Nomadic Tags: Books, boxes, DVD, Flying Fish Brewing Co., LPs, moving, packing, sheet music, VHS
In about three weeks or so I will be packing all of my belongings into a truck and drive a few states to the left to set up house in a new town. To that I can only say, “Holy freaking crap, when did three months become three weeks? I have to pack!”
I’ve moved house a few times in my adult life and I would like to offer what I’ve learned in the past as advice for myself and others who will move in the near future:
- Start packing early. It usually takes about five times longer to pack than you expect it will.
- Make friends with boys. Big, strong, manly boys. They will often help you move heavy things if you offer them pizza and beer.
- Make friends with your local liquor store. They are the best source of sturdy cardboard boxes, and most of the time they are more than happy to let you have them.
- That said, some liquor stores are stingy about giving away boxes on weekends. Especially when there is a holiday approaching, they are sure that any minute they will have to accommodate massive orders of booze that can only be carried out in large boxes. In that case, look elsewhere.
- Flying Fish Brewing Co. boxes are the best for packing sheet music. They are the perfect size to fit the music snugly, are just large enough to fit in a substantial amount of music, but not so big that you can’t lift them when they are full. I’ll have to try their beer one of these days.
- LPs, when packed in boxes, weigh a ton and a half.
I’ve spent the better part of today squeezing as many empty boxes into my tiny little compact car as physically possible, and after bringing them home, filling them with all my worldly possessions. I am proud to say that I have packed each and every VHS, DVD, LP and CD in this apartment into twenty-one boxes, appropriately labelled and neatly stacked in front of the now empty bookcases. By doing so, I have effectively packed one half of my living room (with the obvious exception of the furniture itself). When I realized this, a feeling of elated accomplishment swept over me.
Then I turned around and faced the rest of the apartment.
Sure, it’s wonderful knowing you have emptied the shelves of three bookcases. But it is really quite crushing to know that in the grand scheme of things, I’ve barely made a dent. Today I only tackled the media section of my little home library. I’ve barely even touched the books or sheet music yet.
I can’t imagine how many more boxes I will need to finish just the books. Sure, when I lived by myself packing my own books was a manageable task. But there’s another monstrosity of a bookcase looming in the den with the remnants of Mike’s doctoral studies. For crying out loud, the man was a literature major! The bookcase spans the entire length of the wall and stretches from floor to ceiling. On its shelves sit hundreds, maybe thousands of books piled several high and two or three deep.
Since I’ve discovered a couple liquor stores in my area that seem to be willing to provide me with supplies for my quest (both liquid and cardboard), I’m not quite as worried as I was a week ago. At least I know that I will have containers in which to place my belongings.
What does worry me is knowing how much space packed boxes take up. The contents of my media collection are now taking up a substantial portion of my living room floor, rather than the six inches of space along the edge of the wall. I have a feeling that I will be living in a fort of boxes of books before the week is over.
On The Road, Day 8a: In the Belly of the Beast
30 Mar 2009 6 Comments
in Nomadic, Photos Tags: Atlanta, elevator, Flickr, GA, hotel, Marriott Marquis, vertigo
Is it just me, or does the inside of my hotel from this angle look like the inside of a whale?
On The Road, Day 8: What’ll Ya Have?
29 Mar 2009 3 Comments
in Food, Nomadic, Photos Tags: Atlanta, F.O., frosted orange, GA, onion rings, The Varsity
There is a little dive in downtown Atlanta called The Varsity. Founded in 1928, this place has been a staple in my family’s history since my granddaddy went to Georgia Tech in the early 1950s. There are six locations now, but to me, the only one to eat at is the original on North Avenue. I try to eat at least one meal there every time I come to Atlanta. The food is cheap, greasy and fried, and I often feel horrible later that night, but it is so worth it.
At peak dining hours, the “lines” to the counters seem like a mash of people squeezed into a too-small space. The staff dons paper caps à la drive-ins of sock hop days, hollering, “What’ll ya have? What’ll ya have?” It’s a noisy, crowded, disorganized and chaotic mess, but somehow everyone is taken care of.
You have to know the lingo to properly expedite your order at The Varsity. A naked dog is a plain hot dog on a bun. A glorified steak is a hamburger with mayonnaise, lettuce and tomato. A bag of rags is a bag of potato chips. I always order two chili steaks (hamburgers with just chili), ring one (an order of onion rings) and an F.O. (a frosted orange soda).
Everything in The Varsity is delicious, even the onion rings. I don’t even like onion rings, and somehow I end up scarfing down an entire basket of them.
To be honest, though, I mainly go to The Varsity for the F.O. It’s like an orange creamsicle in milkshake form. It is heaven in a cup.
On The Road, Day 7: Vertigo
28 Mar 2009 7 Comments
in Nomadic, Photos Tags: Atlanta, Flickr, GA, Marriott Marquis, vertigo
The one perk of having a dad who travels a LOT is that he accrues many, many, many points through several different airlines and hotels.
And so, through my dad’s hotel points, I find myself tonight in a room on the forty-first floor of the Atlanta Marriott Marquis, stretched out on a king-sized bed with a glass of pinot grigio purchased in the gift shop.
My ears pop in the elevator.
On The Road, Day 6: Flying Whilst Flaky
27 Mar 2009 3 Comments
in Nomadic Tags: insomnia, airplane, layover, flaky
Have you ever been so physically exhausted that you feel like you’re moving in slow motion?
That’s me right now. Every last ounce of energy left in my body is being used to move my fingers over the keyboard of my laptop and to keep my eyes from slamming shut.
Insomnia struck last night, at one of the worst possible times. You see, my flight back to Philadelphia left at 6:00am, meaning that in order to get to the airport the recommended sixty minutes beforehand, we had to leave at 3:30am. So, once 12:45am rolled around, I realized that it would be useless to try to squeeze in one measly hour of sleep, so I got up and played on the internet.
I managed to snooze for a short while on the plane, but it wasn’t nearly enough to make up for the total lack of sleep last night. By the time I met my mom in baggage claim, I was a little flaky.
Check this out: My first flight, from Columbus to Cleveland, was overbooked. I volunteered to be moved to a different flight on a different airline. Because this new flight was direct, I landed in Philadelphia a full hour before I had originally planned. The seats on this airline were also much more comfortable than on the other airline I had used to get out to Ohio. Oh, and I was given a voucher for $200 from the airline for my troubles. Score!
And so, gentle and few readers, although it is still early, I am turning in now, because once again, I have a plane to catch tomorrow morning. This time I am off to Atlanta for a conference. And once again, unfortunately, I have a layover…this time in Chicago. What the hell? It is a two-hour flight from Philadelphia to Atlanta. And the stinking layover is close to three hours. Seriously, what the hell? I have no clue why I even have to stop in Chicago at all. It is totally not on the way. I suppose that’s what I get for using my dad’s frequent flyer miles to get a free flight.
On The Road, Day 5: A Postcard for Fred and a Stamp
26 Mar 2009 4 Comments
in Cinema, Material, Nomadic Tags: car, Jazz DV151, postcard, Protozoic, stamp, Vienna WV, Vimeo, Walmart, WV
On Sunday, Mike bought a Jazz DV151 Digital Camcorder from Walmart for a mere $20. It runs on two AA batteries and a 2GB SD card, and is about the size of my own digital camera. The video and sound quality is about what one would expect from such an affordable item, but it’s a neat thing to carry around to have ready whenever something needs to be recorded. Mike has been using it almost nonstop since he bought it. I’m really surprised that the batteries held out until yesterday. I bet it will completely break within the month.
Before I left on this great journey to the strange land of Ohio, I promised my friend Fred that I would send him a postcard. Since I tend to overdo things, though, I decided to send him a postcard from every major place I stopped. That’s why he is getting a piece of mail from Ohio, West Virginia, Atlanta and the Detroit airport.
We trekked to a mall in Vienna, West Virginia yesterday. At almost an hour away, it was the closest mall to our little hideaway in the Ohio hills, but we were getting restless and needed to immerse ourselves in a pool of consumerism for a bit. Once that thirst was quenched, I decided that I should find a West Virginia postcard to send to Fred. I also needed to find a stamp.
I had no idea it would be so difficult to find a simple postcard. Every town I have ever set foot in, no matter how backwater or metropolitan, has at least one establishment that sells postcards. We bounced from store to store looking for a postcard, only to be turned away by the proprietors who halfheartedly directed us somewhere across town.
With the help of his handy new Jazz DV151, Mike recorded the entire harrowing adventure. So behold, gentle readers, my fabulous driving skills, my impromptu singing and my increasingly funky hair, which lost the fabulous luster it held before it started to drizzle.
For those interested, Mike also posted this video on Protozoic.
On The Road, Day 4: If The Shoe Fits…
25 Mar 2009 3 Comments
in Material, Nomadic, Photos Tags: new shoes, sneakers
Although I have several pairs of extremely cute dress shoes, I always seem to default to wearing sneakers. Sneakers are the only shoes I can wear for hours every day, day after day, weeks, months, even years on end. They always support my feet, and I am confident that they would not hinder my flight if I were being chased by zombies.
I don’t buy new sneakers often. For one thing, new sneakers are entirely too expensive, so I wait until a sale brings them down to a reasonable price. But, cost aside, I also like how my foot gets to know a sneaker. The shoe is like an old friend, comforting and comfortable to be around. I generally wear my sneakers until the tread has completely worn away and the canvas is threadbare. This takes quite a long while. I purchased the sneakers I currently own in 2005. I don’t remember when I bought the previous pair.
It is a treat to buy new sneakers, but I only do so when it is absolutely necessary. I love the smell of the new shoe, and the strangely supportive feel of the insole that reminds me that my old sneakers were worn too thin. When I was a kid, if I was lucky, my mom would let me wear my new sneakers home from the store, carrying my old pair in the new box. But we always kept the old pair, just in case. That’s why I was so surprised to find a perfectly good set of used sneakers lying in a new sneaker box in the parking lot of a mall outside Columbus.
Someone had obviously bought a new pair of Champion sneakers, put them on in the car, placed the old pair in the new box and abandoned them to some unknown fate. They weren’t just thrown out; they were carefully placed in a box and set gently next to a lamppost where no one could run them over.
I find two things wrong with this:
- Whenever I bought new sneakers, I never threw out the old pair. It’s always good to have a spare pair of sneakers lying around for those occasions when you know you’ll be traipsing through particularly muddy terrain, or painting a house.
- If this person really didn’t want their old pair of shoes, he or she could have donated them to someone who needs them. After a brief inspection, we found that there was nothing particularly wrong with the old shoes, no poo or anything smeared inside or out.
Who leaves a perfectly good pair of shoes lying in the middle of a parking lot?
say what?